Darlene's interview....Interview of a snob!
I have been sent 5 interview questions by Darlene that I am to answer on my blog so here they go.....
1. If your credit was maxed, your wallets were empty and the Gap had the most wonderful sale in which you needed $500.00 or you would simply die, where would you get the cash?
This question is easy because I actually have this problem all the time. First I rack my brain to see if anyone I know owes me money. That usually does not get me to far because since I spend all my money at Gap I never have money to lend anyone. So then I go to plan B. I dig out all the credit cards and call the 1-800 number on the back to see if I can russel together a few bucks that way. This can give me a 20 spot here and there if I am lucky. I consider one night of stripping for some quick cash but then see my butt in the reflection of my sliding glass doors I mean the whole door) and realize I would have to pay someone to watch me strip. That takes me to plan D write a hot check and tell Ben he has two days to pick up some extra shifts and cover the checks before they go through or he will be receiving a letter in the mail.
2. I really need to know this next one, so I'm asking the expert. If Ben wants sex and you both know your period's not due for two weeks, what excuse could you possibly use?
Hmm let me get out my little excuse book for this one.....So many to choose from let me tell you some of my favorites......Lets see excuse number 12 works, no wait a minute lets just do a top ten
10.I am too tired
9.talk to a friend during the day and have her call me with a major problem right when we are about to head to bed. Then pretend to solve her problem while Ben is falling asleep, and once he is out joke about how easy guys are to fool, then bet each other an outfit on who can go the longest without putting out.
8.Tell him I did too many squatts when I worked out that morning and I cannot open my legs because it hurts too much
7.drink some slim tea mid afternoon and it should kick in right around bed time. Nothing like a bad case of diarrhea to turn the guy off. If he has a strong stomach then you might have to throw in phrases like "Oh my gosh I just finished dry heaving out my butt" This should put him over the edge.
6.Tell him you just have a "not so fresh feeling"
5.make him get a second job so you are asleep before he gets home at night. This also pads your shopping wallet.
4.on your way up to the bedroom pinch your youngest child in their sleep. When the child wakes up crying tell your husband you are so sorry but the baby has to sleep in your bed tonight.
3.Tell him you just cannot get intimate with the cat watching you.
2.Keep scratching yourself and then say I would love to make out tonight honey butt I just can't stop this itch.
1.the number one sure fire way to make sure you do not have to put out when you are too tired is.............
start a fight right before you go to bed. End it with a "you just don't make me feel pretty, and with my self esteem so low there is no way I can even think about such an act."
3. If I went to Hawaii for just 24 hours, what would we do?
I feel like this is a question you would hear on the dating game. First I would woo you with a champaigne breakfast with waffles and fresh strawberries at a table on the beach while we watched the sunset. Then we would take a walk hand and hand........blah blah what ever! We would hit all the best beaches on the island, snorkel for fish, and Europeans in speedos, throw in a speed shopping trip, load you up with cheesy Hawaiian souvenirs to add to your collection you have going on your computer desk. Top it off with a kick ass game of catch phrase and cranium, while we waited for your plane to take off and the sun has set. But really you should just come for 3 weeks.
4. If you lived in Hollywood, and Ben left you for Jennifer Aniston, who would you date in order to get over the whole Bennifer thing?
Who else but the original Bennifer himself. Funny because I was actually talking about this with my friend last night. I am kind of getting over Ben Affleck but he has been the man I would leave my husband for for so long that he is more a habit then a crush these days. However it has worked out to be quite convenient because when I am in that once a month romantic moment and I am concentrating on Ben Affleck to get me through I can let his name slip and my Ben (Ben turner) thinks I am talking about him.
5. Did you ever have someone crush on you that weirded you out?
Well there was this guy that worked at the Gap with me during the night stocking shift. No wait I thought he was a guy but it turns out he was a she and "she" was always getting a little close and smiling a little to much at me. Freaked me out!
There you have it folks. My first official interview. Now don't get fooled. I have posted twice today so make sure you read both. I would hate to let a blog go unnoticed!


ping itch is settling in and it is coming on strong and hard. I had really convinced myself that I was getting better , but it turns out the only reason I had improved was because all the stores where carrying winter clothes and I, living in Hawaii, have had no use for them. Now the summer lines are in and my heart has skipped a beat. My pulse rate increases as I look at all the new shopping opportunities. I am like a contestant on the show Survivor who had to live on rice for three months and am now at an all you can eat buffet. I can't stuff it in fast enough,(into my shopping bag that is). I have been frequenting the mall like junk mail in a mail box, finding a new excuse to go every day. I guess it is to be expected...I mean I have NOTHING to wear, and hardly anything in my closet. Ok so that is not completely true, and the bar in my closet has actually broken twice this year because there are too many clothes in there, and I have kicked Ben out of my closet forcing him to hang his clothes in the playroom, but I have nothing new and exciting to wear. Ok that is a lie too, I have bought several new things as well, but you know the old saying (and my motto) you can NEVER have enough clothes. Unless maybe you had 365 outfits and you could wear one each day, then you might have too many, but you would only have to do laundry once a year. Now there is a thought. Maybe that should be my new goal! So last night after coming home from the mall for my third time this weekend, I warned Ben that the shopping fever has started and I cannot help myself. SO we discussed options and some budgeting ideas that might get me through my weak moments. First I offered to go back and work at the Gap 2 nights a week, and that would be my spending money. Then Ben pointed out that he makes 4 times what I make at the restaurant in one night. So logically I suggested that he work an extra night and devote it to my shopping fund (this being said with dollar signs in my eyes and sale prices on the brain!). Ben was not real keen on busting his butt at the restaurant so I can go hit the racks. Go figure. Guys are just so wierd. I mean does that not just scream motivation to you? Not to mention logic and I know guys like logic. I mean if he makes 4 times what I do in one night then that means he could work less but have more money. Sounds like the logical thing to me. I think we finally settled on putting me on an allowance (with no advances:() darn it I hate when he is on to me like that. So we sort of settled on $50 a week, but then I thought I could make $50 a week at Gap and then get 50% off all my clothes. I would get more bang for my buck that way. Or I could just take the $50 from him and not work at all. Let me know what you think, but only if you are on my side.
k and has a great small town beach atmosphere. Well Kauai is a whole island of the North Shore. There are no malls, no big chain restaurants, no crazy traffic jams.....just beautiful mountains, green country side, blue waters, and lots of rain forest. We left home early
Saturday morning and in 20 minutes landed in Kauai. I had surprised Ben by having a red mustang convertible waiting for us when we arrived. It was a bit cloudy the first day so we got in the car with the top down and took a drive around the island just to take it all in. At 2 we checked into our condo with a complimentary mai tai!! It was like they read our minds! Then we hung out by the pool to catch some rays, and a little snooze. We went to a great restaurant for dinner. It was expensive but very tasty! Finished the night off with a long walk along the beach and a drink at the Hyatt's piano bar. We were up bright and early the next morning (6:30am) because we had a boat tour booked at 7:15am. This I must say was the highlight of the trip. My highlight anyway, I bet you can guess what Ben's was. So anyway I say boat trip but that is using the term lightly. It was actually a 60 foot hard bottom raft. The sides were inflatable and you actually sat on the sides of the raft. There was a rope running along the top for you to hold onto (for dear life) There was also another rope along the floor for you to stick your feet under, and this was basically what was holding you in. We then rode into the wild oceans North Shore waves (15-30 foot swells) and jumped the waves at 30-40 miles per hour. Can you say air time. We got ten minutes into our 5 hour tour and one of the girls on board was hysterically crying to get off the boat. This was also the girl who bragged all the way there that she was a big and crazy party
girl. I kind of got a chuckle out of that. So anyway we turned back and brought her back to the dock. When we got the 6 people got off the boat and said this was too much for them as well. So there was us and one other couple left. Now that we got rid of all the sissies we got back out there for some real adventure. At one point we had to stop the boat and floated in 60 feet of water the was so blue and clear that we could see right down to the bottom. If that was
ver the mountain and hitting the water were absolutely breath taking. Then we drove on for another hour and stopped for some snorkeling and lunch in a little bay. We finished off by going on some extra big waves to see how much air time we could get. It was a great adventure for any thrill seeker. If you ever have the chance I would highly recommend it. The only complaint is me fingers were cramped from hanging on so hard and my arms felt like they had been pulled out of their sockets, but in a good
ent we had. You see they have these deals where you go check out a time share and they give you discounts on all the activities. It was kind of a gamble for Ben and I because we are kind of gullible and it does not take much to convince us to spend money. I will admit we were intrigued but stuck to our will power and said no thanks. However they then bring you to another room for a "last chance offer" which we did not pass up. Basically what you do is join the club for 2 years and they wine and dine you and show you how impressive it is, then at the end of two years if you decide to join the money you spent goes towards your purchase, and if not you still got a really good deal. They run it on a points system and basically a nights stay at a condo is so many points and we have two years to spend 6000 points. We should be able to take about 4 trips with these points in the next couple of years, and stay at 5 star resorts which would normally cost $400plus a night for less then $100 a night. So we figured if we are going to be traveling anyway, then we might as well try this out. So we bought the 6000 points and went on our merry way to enjoy the rest of our trip. From there we had lunch and grabbed a surf board for our surf lessons. Now I know why surfers are so buff. It is so much work and allot harder then it looks. My arms felt t like they were going to fall off from all the paddling. For the first hour the instructor would push you into a wave and you just had to stand up and ride it. I did fairly ok at this but then the last hour we were on our own to try and catch a wave. So I soon learned that the hard part was not the standing up and surfing, but trying to actually catch a wave. It is very hard to get up enough speed to get in front of the wave, and then worry about standing up. I only got up once after I was left to do it on my own. After our surf lesson we hit a much needed happy hour and it was back to the hot tub to soak our weary muscles. I am telling you I needed a vacation from our vacation. Every muscle in our bodies was aching.
The last day we went zipping! This is where they drive you to the top of a mountainous rain forest in the middle of no where and you attach yourself to a cable by a pulley and zip 800-900 feet at a time in a zig zag pattern down to the bottom. It was fun. Not thrilling really, but the scenery was amazing! That night we came back home and loaded up on hugs from the kids because we were going through some serious withdrawals. Isn't it funny how you get away from the kids to have some alone time and all you talk about is the kids and how much you miss them. So that is what we have been doing lately. Now we are trying to recover our weary old bodies and get back to normal.