Where do I start?

I guess I should start by telling you that my ideas of winning mother of the year award are thrown out the window for good! I won't even make it to the nomination list. In fact I will be real lucky if my son even makes it his second birthday at the rate I am going. Corben has had two near death experiences in the last week. First last week Ben was out in the back yard setting up our tent for the girls sleep over camp out. I was in the house and thought that Corben (our 22 month old) was outside with hid dad, while Ben assumed he was inside with me. As we were gaily going through our routines I get a knock on the door and my neighbor who was on her way home from the grocery store was holding my son who she found wandering down the street. To make the situation worse his diaper was sagging with a not so pleasant surprise and he had pink toe nails. Thank goodness it was her who happened upon him and not someone else. I would have had the cops at my door with allot of explaining to do. "who does this cross dressing, bad smelling boy belong to and why was he playing frogger in the street?" Umm Gulp.....well....How bout those Red Socks?
So if I was not miserable and down on myself enough this morning while I was getting the kids ready for school I turned my back on this mischievous little rug rat for 5 minutes and when I turned around he had downed a bottle of children's vitamin gummy bears. He got them down, opened the child proof lid, and swallowed 100 gummy bears in a matter of minutes.Now that is talent! So I hit speed dial to poison control and explained my situation. "Hi I am Alyssa Turner, yes that's me...The one you heard about....Yes the one who lets her son play out in traffic....Yes that's right the one who does not change her kids diaper until it falls off under all the pressure.....Yes mam that is correct he has pink toenails....Yes well today he ate a bottle of vitamins.....Yes I know that is not good.......No I was not watching....Yes I just turned around for a minute......Oh hold on he is playing in the toilet....Yes I am ok...No no...He's fine I gave him some boats to float until we are done....Yes in the toilet....He's fine. So anyway we were lucky to escape a trip to the emergency room because they were eccinasia and vitamin C pills and contained no iron or vit A which would be the concern. She told me to expect some diarrhea and he should be fine.
This whole boy thing is throwing me for a loop. My girls were never into stuff and if it was quite in the house they were having a tea party not eating cat litter. He is always on the go and he is much faster then I. We never had to put locks on the doors, or cupboards or toilet or anything else that can be touched. This is a whole new world for me and apparently I need to shape up before I get shipped out.....Or he does. I know I have joked about child protective services before but this could have been the real thing. They are going to have a spread sheet on me soon. So lets all try and make me feel better and tell me you have poisoned your kids, and lost them in the Neighborhood before as well. I mean it is not like he was playing on the roof or anything.....
Ok next subject. What a great segue that was. Anyway I had my first photoshoot and it went really well. At first I got home to download the pictures and was disappointed in myself. I went to bed that night thinking that I suck and there was no way I could actually do this for real, who was I trying to kid and all that. So the next morning I loaded them up again and began to go through all the editing. I took about 80 pictures and had 49 really good ones. After I got them off the cutting room floor I was actually really pleased. My husband was also kind enough to point out that when you look at a photographers work you don't see the 100 pictures that did not make the cut....You only see the good ones. That is so true, and once I only looked at the finished product I was quite pleased. You can check some of them out on the website.
Spring break went way to fast. It was over before it even got started. I had made plans with all these people to get the kids together and go to the beach, and before you know it, it was over and I hardly did a thing.
I am so looking forward to this weekend! My friend and I are going to have a girls weekend of shopping, tanning, and just flat out being spoiled. You see her husband just got back from a year in Afghanistan and she is in much need of a break. So her wonderful husband (well I have not met him yet but he must be wonderful because......) he suggested we get a hotel downtown this weekend and go shopping for some new clothes, and go relax by the pool and have a few drinks, and enjoy some time away. Of course when I got wind of this I was "game in" To top it off he said, "and why don't I throw in $500 for some new clothes!" Yes really, this is not an urban mith. I told her that her husband needs to talk to my husband so I get the same deal. I got a " sure go...Have fun, but you sure as H E double hockey sticks should not expect $500 of fun money!" Oh well I will live vicariously through her, and hopefully hit a few sales racks for us "little people." I am so excited and can't wait to have a girls weekend full of all my favorite things. That way when Corben ties a bunggie cord to his feet and dives from the roof he will be under Ben's watch!
Well hope everyone is doing well. Sorry I have not blogged lately but as you can see I have enough trouble trying to keep my sanity lately without having to think up creative blogs. Although who needs creativity when I can blog about the nine lives of Corben Anthony Turner.