Playing The Field

Since I am on this trip down memory lane, I thought I would keep on and tell you the story of how our second child was conceived. You see we were in the back of this compact car and it was getting pretty steamed up...Just kidding! I had you going for a minute there didn't I?! No really today I am going to tell you a different story. Ben and I had been married for awhile and the newlyweds thing was starting to wear off, so we decided it was time to start dating other people. Yes you guessed it! It was time for us to start "couple dating". You know when you keep your eye out for that perfect couple that you can hang out with on weekends and just be real with. The kind of friends that can walk into your house, open the fridge, and grab a drink because the part of the relationship when you pretend that you eat out of your fine china every night and not pots with an oven mitt underneath is over. She has to be a good dresser, He has to be cool with a slight geek edge to him so my husband will have someone to converse with, similar interests and hobbies, that sort of thing. Now let me warn you couple dating is even harder then regular dating. Not only do I have to like her, but my husband has to like her husband in order for the relationship to really work. Now seeing as we move around so often we always seem to be playing this field. Then you add your children to the equasion and you have a whole new element of stress in this dating world. Now my children have to get along with their children, and it is also good to try and keep the age groups similar. So seeing as our move to Hawaii has been fairly recent I will share some of our dating ups and downs in the last year. The first rule is that you always have to be on the look out! You do not want that perfect couple to sneek by right under your nose. So we are eating one night at one of our favorite restaurants. It is hip, young with an edge, and it has a sandbox for the kids. What more can you ask for. So we had just started on some appetizer when we spot a potential couple a few tables down. Ben and I start to divulge a game plan. OK I will walk by the table and drop my napkin, bend down to pick it up then casually start conversation. No that won't work. Ok how about we buy them a couple a drinks and have the waiter tell them they are from us. That works every time right? We continue to joke about it through our meal, when up comes the perfect opportunity. The girls have to go potty and they are on the way to the bathroom. Great! So we do the walk by and make the "hey your kids are cute eye contact". That is the first step. Then on the way out after you have fixed your hair in the mirror you casually start a conversation when you pass again. "So are you from around here?" "You come here often?" Turns out they are moving in a couple months so we shluff them off as we are looking for something a little more long term. The beach is a great and easy way to meet families. We scope the beach for some cool people like us with cute well behaved kids that are our kids age then we camp out as close to them as possible without freaking them out. Then we tell our kids to go play with their kids, b/c it is perfectly acceptable for kids to just start playing with each other. Adults cannot just walk up to someone and say "hey you wanna be my friend?" Laugh if you will but you are not the ones constantly having to find new friends. Desperate times call for desperate measures! I remember coming home from the beach one day all excited because I got some digits. I share my excitement with my husband who warns me not to make the first call. Even though you are desperate you do not want to look desperate. You have to wait at least three days. I tried but got to impatient and called her as soon as I got home. She must have been as desperate as I was because now we are great friends. We were almost to the point where I was going to make up some fliers and hand them out door to door, or better yet take out an ad in the personals. I measure my self worth by the number of obligations on my social calendar, so when the calendar reads zero, it can be real depressing. I remember one time at our last base it was the 4th of July and we were new and had no wonderful family picnic to go to so I started calling people I knew, or sort of knew and casually asked what they were doing, hoping for an invite somewhere....Anywhere? I had no bitters, and instead got to hear how everyone was going to their friends house for a great picnic. This dating world can be harsh. The rejection! I have come to the conclusion that it takes about a year from the time you move to a new place for your social calendar to start filling up. We just had our one year anniversary in Hawaii and I am happy to tell you that we have hooked up with some great couples, and our calendar has been filled. Not to mention all the people who used to just be acquaintances but have suddenly become good friends since we live in Hawaii! I even have a real good potential waiting on the sidelines! I don't want to get my hopes up but I think they just might be "the ones!" So it is nice to be settled in our new home with our new friends, and we have even stopped playing the field for awhile. It gets to confusing when you try and string along too many couples at once. Then you get double booked and someone goes away with a box of Kleenex and some Ben and Jerry's.