Pain in the Uranus!
We have this gigantic tree next to our house which just happens to land on our side of the property line. I am not sure what this tree is called but we call it the rain tree because it is gigantic, it's branches extend to cover the entire yard, and it's leaves are constantly raining down. On base we have to get our yard inspected every Tuesday. Oh the joys of military life! So me being the absolute best wife in the entire world decided that I was going to help out my
husband and get all the leaves raked up so he could mowe when he got home. I don't think I realized the size of the project I was taking on. Four blisters, three hours, two crinks in my back, and loads of sweat later, I have a new name for that tree. The stupid, piece of crap, pain in uranus, wish you would die, you suck tree. I hate that tree. It is a pain in the ask me no more questions. New leaves are falling off and landing on my head as I rake the old ones up. Not any old leaf either. These leaves are huge! My hands are still withering in the pain from my blisters which are now popped and exposing the raw delicate skin underneath. I get all the leaves into 11 huge piles, which I then hav
e to collect and drag down the block to a huge dumpster for compost. I decided to load them all into our huge garbage can and dump them that way. So I get the bin full, drag it down the road to the dumpster,drag it up five stairs, which feels more like 5 flights of stairs, hoist it upside down, dump the leaves, and continue this process for the next two hours, with all the cuss words from the movie I saw the night before fresh on my mind! I try and stay encouraged by reminding myself how excited and proud Ben is going to be when I get home. I am picturing him doing back flips and bowing down to me with gratitude. These thoughts in my head were making all the pain worth while, and gets me through. I am loading the last of the leaves when Ben pulls into the driveway, sees my efforts and says "hey thanks" Hey thanks? No back flip, no wow your the best wife ever, no bowing down to kiss my smelly feet? The nerve of some people. Funny how I always plan these situations in my head and they never quite play out the way I imagined. Now surly some of you bloggers out there must feel sorry for me?? Even the slightest bit sympathetic? Concerned that my withered hands will ever be normal again? Anything?
12 Comments:
It is a rubber tree? We have those here in Bermuda. I forget the actual agricultural name for them, but they are huge and the roots get all twisted, the leaves are very big...
Howcome you get in trouble for having leaves in your yard? Isn't that a bit anal?
Geez, it's not like the country's at war or anything....there's not that much for the military to worry about....
As for your hands, try some aloe vera on them. Hope you recover soon.
Maybe it's time for another pina colada on the beach day?!
Cath
www.paidinfull.blogspot.com
With the eyes swollen shut, the blisters on feet and hands, back sore and who knows what else its amazing your still with us! Sounds like you worked harder than I'm even capable of trying to work. Look at it this way - you exercised for the day. Probably won't be able to move for two more days but you got good, healthy, butt kickin exercise!
Catherine
Yes that is the name of the tree, but after what that tree put me through I like my name better.
Jeff
You are right I have pains in muscels I did not even know I had today. So since I had a three hour work out yesturday does that mean I get the rest of the week off?
My eyes look much better now, and my vision was only left slightly blurred.
Let us all have a moment of silence for our poor, blistered, smelly footed friend, who has endured so much pain recently. We can sympathize with our dearly beloved friend, but there's no way we could ever fully understand the pain and suffering she goes through in her quest to be the best wife ever. Let us pause now....
On a more serious note, :) you need to invest in a leaf-blower-sucker-thingy. I borrow my grandpa's from time to time and it is awesome! You can suck up an incredible amount of leaves before you have to finally empty it. One time I did my entire back yard and only made two trips to the dumpster. Ben, if she's willing to do some yardwork, BUY HER ONE OF THESE! :)
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I hope you ladies are sitting for this one. I met my husband for lunch today and shoed him my hand full of red sore blisters and he says, get this, no really this is a good one, "I need to get you a pair of work gloves"
Sounds like a rough week, but at least you have something to blog.
If you want your husband to notice, rake in a bikini when he's home, it works everytime. Not only will he notice, but he will probably take over.
Oh goodness - Ben you actually said that - yea good luck there lil camper!
Work Gloves???
Oh right...for when you get up at 4am to go milk the cow, bring in the water from the stream and then tend to the vegetable garden all day in between washing the clothes by hand and tendin' to the young 'uns. I would take them off though when you're kneading the bread dough.
Us women and our expectations! Ben is lucky you dupmed them though - I have a bad habit of doing all that work then just leaving them in the yard for Jeff to pick up later - or it just sits there and never gets picked up. Oh well - at least you didn't have to work out that day! :)
Alyssa,
You obviously have too much time on your hands if you are doing yard work! Don't worry, honey, I will be back in Hawaii in 35 days to help you fill your time with more important things!
Vanessa
I've got three words "OUT OF CONTEXT!" Your blog has a funny way of making me look either really good or really bad. The work gloves were suggested to cover up your stigmata looking hands. I love you!!!
Ben
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